D Day

So there I go again.  Getting all silent on you.  Well… the dreaded day is upon me.  After loving life with our new little girl and beautiful home in the suburbs, I’m preparing to return to work on Monday after being out for 4 ½ months.  Sigh.  It honestly wouldn’t be so bad if I were returning to my old role.  But I’m not.

Those that know me know all about this, so I’ll keep it as short as I can.  While on my LOA, my National team was let go.  My team consisted of 5 people - My boss and counterpart in LA both lost their jobs, our Director ‘retired’ and my other co-worker and I were pulled back into our old region.  We were told that our jobs were ‘saved’ and that we would have to ‘do whatever was asked of us’.  Awesome.  On one hand you’re relieved to be employed, but on the other, WTF?  12 years, high performer and this is what I get?  The team I got pulled back to was the one I left because I was unhappy (see here).  Now I go back to working with them, performing small tasks that do not equate to a role or career.  Interesting.  But I can get through that and I will.

The part that will be difficult is the impact it is going to have on my family.  Although we found an amazing full-time nanny and Gianni will be starting preschool down the street from our house in 2 weeks, I have been told that my job is ‘in the office’.  Whatever that ‘job’ is.  So there goes that flexibility I worked so hard to have.  This means very early trips to the train (6am) in hopes of finding a parking spot before all the daily ones are taken (the lot is on a 9 year – YES 9 YEAR – waitlist), train rides to the city and back, all while trying to keep our nanny’s hours around 40-45 a week.  Oh and working around Luke’s travel schedule.  Awesome.  I.  CAN. NOT. WAIT. For my ‘working Mommy guilt’ to start. <sarcasm>

So, I will be putting my best game face on next Monday, will try my best not to breakdown too early in the day and will be trying to schedule my visits to the mother’s room so that I can pump 2-3 times a day.  Awesome.

On the upside, I look forward to catching up on blogs (including mine!), cleaning up my email account (sorry if I haven’t responded to you in 2 months), getting dressed and doing my hair again.

Sorry this ‘rant’ was so long, but I had to get it off my chest.  My family and friends have been wonderful with their support.  Please know that I am grateful for what I do have.  I just wish I was going back to that job I loved so very much.  Wish me luck J